Say it over and over again...

I love yoga.  I'm not a pro.  I actually just started going regularly, okay I've been twice. ha ha.  But I LOVE it!  

It's healing, it's relaxing, it just feels healthy for both mind and body.  

It refuels me and gives me a chance to meditate. 

 (i recommend this for everybody! whether you suffer from depression or not find a way to relax and meditate!  we all have stress, we all get overwhelmed, and we all deserve a moment at least a couple times a week to UNWIND and RECHARGE. 

oh and thanks for the invite Janae to help me get started (:

Last week, our instructor told us that our "homework" was to find a personal mantra.  A personal mantra is words you live by.  A personal philosophy.  They're positive affirmations that you repeat over and over again until your whole being believes it.

The one that stuck with me the most was actually in vinyl lettering on the wall right there in the yoga studio.

"Don't let what you can't do, interfere with what you can"

It resonated with me, so I chose it as mine.  As I started repeating this over and over again in my mind I realized something.  I tend to be an all or nothing person.  If I can't do something all the way I often chose to do nothing.  If I can't do a a full marathon then I just won't run at all.  If I can't clean the whole house then I just won't clean anything at all.  If I can't shower, put my make-up on, and do my hair then I just won't get ready for the day at all.  If I can't read my scriptures and study them for at least 15 minutes then I just don't read at all.  Sounds like a bit of perfectionism to me...

Perfectionism is not a healthy way of living for someone who's depressed, or for anyone in my book .  It will do you no good to have this mindset.  You'll always be either super overwhelmed trying to do it all  or be super discouraged and disappointed because you're not accomplishing anything.

When it's an all or nothing mindset your mind tends to be full of negative thoughts and you end up going NOWHERE.

I realized that because of my struggles with depression I have to redefine my goals and personal expectations and focus on what I'm able to do and accomplish it and then celebrate it! 

 I can't put myself down anymore for not being able to have every hour of my day scheduled and have a list of 100 things to do like I used to.  Why do we do that anyway?  Do we think it makes us better people when we stress ourselves to the max?  When we validate ourselves by how much we're accomplishing and doing?  That we're better than our neighbor because we accomplish more in a day than him/her?
I loved President Uchdorf's talk from this past conference, "Of things that matter most".  He says in regards to this:



"Some might even think that their selfworth depends on the length of their 
to-do list. They flood the open spaces 
in their time with lists of meetings and 
minutia—even during times of stress 
and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often 
feel increased frustration, diminished 
joy, and too little sense of meaning in 
their lives."

Filling my plate to overflowing was something I used to do and sometimes still do a lot.  I sometimes feel like in order to really be worth something, in order to be loved, I have to be doing and accomplishing everything.  I have to be better and more busy than the people I know.  When in reality what it inevitably leads to is a very grouchy, very discouraged and very unhealthy (in mind and body) Sarah.  whew! Again from President Uchdorf:

"We would do well to slow down a little, 
proceed at the optimum speed for our 
circumstances, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see 
the things that matter most."

 I can't make all homemade christmas gifts this year, but I can put some love into what I buy.  I can't work out everyday, but I can focus on doing some physical activity three times a week (I have a multi-level house so I count climbing my stairs some days :)

I can't study and read the scriptures for 15 minutes right now, but I can read at least one verse a day.   I can't clean my whole house in one day, but I can make sure things stay picked up a bit and not care as much.  

Take a step back if you're struggling, stick to the basics. You're doing more than you think you are.  You're better than you think you are.  Focus on the basics and know that you are doing a great job!


President Uchdorf gives a perfect example in talking about pilots and turbulence:



"What do you suppose pilots do 
when they encounter turbulence? A 
student pilot may think that increasing speed is a good strategy because 
it will get them through the turbulence faster. But that may be the 
wrong thing to do. Professional pilots 
understand that there is an optimum 
turbulence penetration speed that 
will minimize the negative effects of 
turbulence. And most of the time that 
would mean to reduce your speed. 
The same principle applies also to 
speed bumps on a road.
Therefore, it is good advice to slow 
down a little, steady the course, and 
focus on the essentials when experiencing adverse conditions.

With that said REMEMBER:

slow down, focus on what you're accomplishing and give yourself a pat on the back for even the little things you accomplish

"Don't let the things you can't do, interfere with what you can"

Here's a link to the talk by President Uchdorf, you'll love it!  :"Of things that matter most"